Today I had a moment. A bad moment. A BAD MOMENT.
As I sat with my head in my hands trying to work through a difficult rewrite, a treacherous little thought entered my head. This tiny dark voice crept around my tired synapses and whispered to me that maybe I should just give up. And for one brief second, it sounded like a good idea. I had a flash of how much easier it would be if I wasn't doing this. I would sleep at night. I would stop staring at a computer screen until my eyes hurt. I would stop checking my email forty times a day. I would stop rereading the same passages over and over until the words blurred together. I would stop getting rejected. I would stop torturing myself with questions of whether I am good enough.
I won't give up. I can't give up. I know that. But this is the first time in my life as a writer that I ever thought of it, even if just for a second. It scared me.
Have you ever thought this? What did you do?
It's just not an option. The process is painful, but I'm going to succeed. You will too!
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you! But you know what? My dreams are often what pull me back. I'll be spinning wheels over a chapter, paragraph, sentence... word (for that matter) and I'll sleep on it and in my dreams I'll find the spark I needed to continue. KEEP DREAMING,
ReplyDeleteJennifer Swan
Thank you both for the support! You are right... we've worked too hard to give up.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how, although I don't know you, the same thoughts go through my mind! I always think about how much work I've put into all my manuscripts (working on #4!) and I refuse to give up. That and I truly love the writing process.
ReplyDelete