It's been exactly two months since my last post. Where was I? Here the whole time, but staying away from Blogger Dashboard in my own personal version of rehab. Turns out that blogging is generally bad for me.
Back in 2009, when I first started working on my book, I would get to the computer first thing in the morning, check my email, open Word and write for hours. I was organized, disciplined, and treated writing like my job (which it is). Once I reached the query stage, my world opened up and I discovered blogging. At first, it was a lifeline. Reading other blogs helped me feel like I wasn't alone. But once I started following 100+ blogs, and tried to be a good follower by reading and commenting on everything, my productivity was shot. I was spending hours trying to keep up, and feeling guilty when I didn't.
And then there was my own blog. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but my self-esteem is tied way too closely to comments and stats. When I post something, I constantly check back to see who has commented and how many people have visited. And when the numbers aren't great, I feel terrible. And since I've been querying for a year, my ego really doesn't need much more pummelling before I start to sink into a funk.
So for the past two months, I have limited myself to reading. I skim every blog I follow (though most I do still read in full). I rarely comment anymore, though there are a lot of times I want to, even just to let you know I'm still lurking around. I miss posting, because I keep seeing interesting stuff out there (contests, etc.) that I'd like to share. I even write posts in my head (usually when I'm in the shower). I worry that this post is going to be like a drink for an alcoholic.
So once again I'm going to try to find a balance. I'll need to see how many times I check my stats this week. I'll stop lurking and make a few comments. I'll limit how much time I spend on Blogger.
I'll take it one day at a time.